Anna Maria 2015

Here are a few of my favorite pictures I captured on our 2015 family vacation!

Jack, my little bro, made it in with the kid models :)

People

I walked in smelling the pleasant roast of coffee, trying to decide what flavor would suit me this early morning.  My fingers and toes were cold, and I was reminded that summer was over - it was nearly Thanksgiving.  My mind wandered.  What a long few weeks it had been.  Both my young kids had been sick with bronchial viruses, pneumonia, you name it, we had it.

Back to the coffee.. oh, that smell.  Just a few minutes to relax before the day began.  So many things to accomplish.  As I walked over to the counter, something distracted me.  The look in his eye.  That look.  As if his eyes were calling me over.  

As I tried to avoid eye contact, I took a few steps closer.  What I saw was unpleasant, scary even.  His face was covered with open sores and scabs.  Maybe one hundred just on his face, neck and head.  My mind raced - is that contagious?  But those bright blue eyes pierced me deeper.  Tired eyes, with sagging, red eyelids.  A few tear drops not yet dried perched on his long eyelashes.  

I didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t speak, but reached an outstretched arm my direction.  More scabs.  Red, oozing, weeping blisters.  If I got close I might risk catching whatever that was.  The coffee.. my day..  I still avoided the direct gaze of those blue eyes.  Maybe he would turn back to examining that wet rag he held so firm in his grip.  What did he want from me?  I was so tired, just wanted a cup of coffee and five minutes to myself.  Five seconds!  Young kids are exhausting - especially when they wake up in the night.  This was MY escape time!

Both arms now reaching right toward me, closer.  Tugging at my pant leg.  He was on the ground and I was the only one within his reach.  I’ll be honest, I was trying to think of a way to escape.  Those sores, those eyes.  Then I heard it.  I knew I couldn’t turn away.  When I heard the sound of that cry.  

I picked him up as fast as I could bend down.  I kissed him a million times, not minding the weeping sores pressing into my face.  Not remembering how tired I was, or the ache in my back, and completely forgetting the coffee.  How guilty I felt for trying to avoid his gaze.  Those beautiful blue eyes, almost hidden by his swollen eyelids covered in red.  His head felt warm as I held him tight.  His wet tiger blankie still half in his mouth.  My arms are never too tired for you, I thought.  “Momma, Momma” he said, smiling..  Soon, sweet son, soon.. these chicken pox will heal.

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As, I rocked my 11 month old to sleep tonight, I couldn’t help but thinking of those people around us we avoid.  Intentionally and unintentionally.  We are too busy, too rushed, too caught up in our own worlds.  They are too sick, too gross, too different.  As I rocked him close, the antibacterial balm that I’d just rubbed all over his infected pox got on part of my lip.  It tasted absolutely terrible.  But I didn’t care.  I kissed him more.  And I thought, this is actually gross, I’m putting my lips close to broken, weeping skin.  But, there wasn’t a “clean” or “beautiful” spot on him.  His chicken pox sores have a secondary infection, and honestly, my beautiful boy looks rough.  Much more than he needed my kisses (oh and he likes his momma’s cuddles), I wanted to give them.  How much I love him can’t be put into words.  How easy it is to love my kids.  When they are healthy and when they are sick.  When they look pretty and when they look just plain nasty.  How hard it is to love people in this world when they are healthy and how much harder it is when they are not.  Sick, nasty, poor, dirty, ill, scabby people.  Inside and out.  Aren’t we all in more ways than we’d like to admit.  Jesus, let me be more like you.  That is my prayer tonight.

Three Weeks

What an amazing three weeks!  What a flash they've been!  With the combination of sleep deprivation, an energetic almost-three-year-old, Christmas, and a brand new baby.. we've had an exciting three weeks!

It's been amazing to watch our family grow from a family of three to our Family of Four!  Olivia has taken the roll of Big Sister with such pride and compassion.  Any peep out of Baby Brother and she is the first to say, "Oh - we need to check on him!" "Is he ok?"  She has been so interested in him - "Are his eyes open?" and wants to help do ABSOLUTELY everything.  We hear "I wanna help!" multiple times an hour!  Thankfully, she is a gentle helper and takes instruction well as she offers assistance!

 One of my new favorite pics of Big Sister... she is wearing her Uncle Jack's old Patagonia fleece!  When I 'borrowed' this, I couldn't imagine the day she'd fit into it!  AHHH she's getting SO big!

 Big Sister and Baby Bro meet for the first time...

 Our Christmas picture.. not dressy or one I'd send on a card, but I love it.  I love that Olivia is looking at Ethan..

 First big boy tub bath...

 She loves 'holding hands' with her brother..

A few things I want to remember ....

Things Olivia has been saying lately:
- As Justin arrives home from work - "So, how you been doin, Daddy?!"
- When asked just about any question, her response often begins, "Hmmm, how about..."
- When she is asked to do something that she is trying to postpone, she says, "Not quite, yet! Almost!"
- She randomly will wake up after sleeping 12 hours straight and say "Oh, I'm tired, I didn't sleep too well"
- After watching Justin come rub the top of my shoulder for about 10 seconds as I was cooking (or as I call it, Slaving Away in the Kitchen), she said her shoulders were sore too.  We laughed as Justin asked her if it felt better, as he rubbed her shoulders and in a very VERY grunty moaning voice, she said "Oh no, my back is still sore, need a little more, Daddy"  HA HA.. I guess just maybe she listens to my every word!  (Note to self = be careful what I say!)
- When someone arrives to the house, she will proudly introduce her baby brother.. "Look!! My baby brother"  As she holds out her arms and displays him.. (think Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune) Sometimes it ends with "Ta Da"

She loves:
- to take big girl bubble baths in Mommy's big tub.
- to use Daddy as her personal jungle gym and play a bit more rough that what I've been physically capable of doing the past few months.
- helping do anything I'm doing: dusting, laundry, cooking, changing diapers, etc
- finger painting, coloring, legos, riding her bike, baths

Ethan is still quite little to have much of an update!  But, he is such a great baby boy!  He rarely makes a peep - we've only heard him cry a handful of times in three weeks and I think the longest streak was about two minutes.  He eats well!  Loves his baths!  Turns his head toward his big sister's voice!  He nurses every three hours beginning at 7am all day (I wake him up most the time to eat...) and has been sleeping as well as can be expected at nighttime!  The past three nights has only needed to eat once in between his 10pm and 7am meals!  It is nice to get a 3 hour stretch of sleep in at a time for this momma.. looking forward to sleeping all night again :)  We like our sleep around here!  He is a growing boy... Already outgrown the newborn diapers and clothes.  (Too bad I had literally just purchased 3 new size newborn outfits and then 2 days later realized he was ready for size 0-3 months!)

As I grow into my new roll as Mommy of two.. I remind myself to truly be present each moment.. take each teaching opportunity in stride.. keep in mind that my big growing girl is not yet three years old although she is so mature and intelligent.. count my blessings for two healthy beautiful babies.. and capture the thoughts of looking ahead and rather find the treasure in each day..

One day, my babies won't be babies and I doubt missing sleep will be on my mind...